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Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

Tazzieman

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Spent enough time around dromedaries over the years to observe that whoever loaded that vehicle is a goddamn camel whisperer.
On a side note , there is a Mt Dromedary not far north of Hobart and it has 2 humps on top. Basically it looks like a dromedary.For most of my life I (and no doubt 99.9999% of the population that knows what a dromedary is) thought that was why it was so named, but no - it was named after a convict carrying sailing ship , onboard were the first men (soldiers) to climb it - 1820
 

globalgregors

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On a side note , there is a Mt Dromedary not far north of Hobart and it has 2 humps on top. Basically it looks like a dromedary.For most of my life I (and no doubt 99.9999% of the population that knows what a dromedary is) thought that was why it was so named, but no - it was named after a convict carrying sailing ship , onboard were the first men (soldiers) to climb it - 1820
Well of course with two humps it’s correct name would be Mt Bactrian:)
 

emax

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Sadly, we don't have colonies. Thus a division by zero: fail.
 
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Max

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An Obituary printed in the London Times.......Brilliant!!
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:- Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, -by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepchildren; - I Know My Rights - I Want It Now - Someone Else Is To Blame - I'm A Victim - Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

Sorry for the spacing...don't know how to fix it.
 
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Krabby

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An Obituary printed in the London Times.......Brilliant!!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, -by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason.











He is survived by his 5 stepchildren; - I Know My Rights - I Want It Now - Someone Else Is To Blame - I'm A Victim - Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.






Sorry for the spacing...don't know how to fix it.
Epic.
 

Stu_Barnes

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An Obituary printed in the London Times.......Brilliant!!
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:- Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, -by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepchildren; - I Know My Rights - I Want It Now - Someone Else Is To Blame - I'm A Victim - Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

Sorry for the spacing...don't know how to fix it.
I hear common sense is back and he drives a Grenadier. Someone by the name of Jim told me in a London pub a few years ago.

It just a sketch on a napkin, but that’s how legends are born he said.
 

Krabby

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Agreed. But it does a nice job of succinctly identifying the world in which we live. Which is, as you say, sad.
 
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ECrider

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Especially sad when I live in a country that has raspberry and rhubarb smelling toilet paper.....my God we are so sophisticated in the UK :(
Western civilisation surely has peaked with scented loo roll, all down hill from here.....!
 

Jean Mercier

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Especially sad when I live in a country that has raspberry and rhubarb smelling toilet paper.....my God we are so sophisticated in the UK :( ... but I agree completely with you point
I wonder, if you eat less raspberry or rhubarb, it will smell like mine? :unsure: :eek: :poop:🤣 but, serious now, I agree completely with your point (y)
 

bemax

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Especially sad when I live in a country that has raspberry and rhubarb smelling toilet paper.....my God we are so sophisticated in the UK :(
Damn I didn’t know there’s something like smelling toilet paper before the use of it.
 
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