Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[TheDocAUS]

My 1952 General Electric fridge. Original compressor still going strong and beer stays cold.

That looks a lot like the old one I mentioned. But the handle broke.

 

[Tazzieman]

 

[CRH]

View attachment 7903175

Conveyor belt, otherwise he would be hovering. Has nobody thought about this before

 

[Tazzieman]

This was an English comedy show.
Not one to stereotype Australians though

Video

www.facebook.com

 

[Tazzieman]

Anybody got a niche their better 1/2 doesn't share?

 

[CRH]

Anybody got a niche their better 1/2 doesn't share?

View attachment 7903295

The wife isn't in to me breathing, other than that she just about tolerates me

 

[CRH]

Going to have to sell our vehicles of they turn into footballers cars

View: https://youtube.com/shorts/HfAPQcOv2Fk?si=U72V_379TXNsXioG

 

[Tazzieman]

More power!

 

[Logsplitter]

View: https://youtube.com/shorts/v7JJy_jPG_o?si=7dD_UtAC6doCUs_Z

 

[Mike Morrison]

For those that never ordered lockers with their original order

 

[AngusMacG]

View: https://youtube.com/shorts/v7JJy_jPG_o?si=7dD_UtAC6doCUs_Z

How did you find that video of me

 

[Max]

How did you find that video of me

And don't tell me here is the bloke you were yelling at

 

[Tazzieman]

not a cupholder in sight

 

[Tazzieman]

 

[Max]

100%

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.

This is a strictly ..... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean "TO GIVE MORE" than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And...
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But -
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And....
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there. Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why Politicians are where they are!
I’ve never seen a better explanation than this formula.

...

 

[Clark Kent]

100%

...

Since we're talking about maths and not politics, reactions to this wild claim did the rounds in global media this week.

 

[Max]

Since we're talking about maths and not politics, reactions to this wild claim did the rounds in global media this week.

View attachment 7904302

AT LEAST THE WORD "BLOVIATOR" HAS A MEANING.








Bloviation is a style of empty, pompous, political speech. The word originated in Ohio and was most notably used by Warren G. Harding in his successful 1920 US presidential campaign. He subsequently described it as "the art of speaking for as long as the occasion warrants, and saying nothing".

 

[Tazzieman]

AT LEAST THE WORD "BLOVIATOR" HAS A MEANING.
Bloviation is a style of empty, pompous, political speech. The word originated in Ohio and was most notably used by Warren G. Harding in his successful 1920 US presidential campaign. He subsequently described it as "the art of speaking for as long as the occasion warrants, and saying nothing".

You mean , unlike "covfefe"?

 

[Max]

You mean , unlike "covfefe"?

Yes.




Now this is funny, if you can believe it.
Poor Donny's play on Acronyms

From Simple English Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia​

​

Covfefe is a word presumably misspelled by President of the USDonald Trump in a viral internet meme. It was sent in a tweet 9.06 PM - 30 May 2017 that said "Despite the constant negative press covfefe."[2] It was widely suggested by the media that Donald Trump meant to write "coverage." However, White House Press SecretarySean Spicer said that it was not a misspelling, with him saying "I think the president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.

In language​

The Urban Dictionary would soon add a page on "covfefe", with the page saying that: "It literally means covfefe.

In law​

U.S. Representative Mike Quigley started H.R.2884, "The Communications Over Various Feeds Electronically for Engagement Act (COVFEFE Act)" on June 12, 2017.