Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[Max]

No wonder the Irish stew...happy times

 

[bigleonski]

No wonder the Irish stew...happy times

Given it probably had whisky in it, here we have the origin of Irish Coffee.

 

[DaveB]

Given it probably had whisky in it, here we have the origin of Irish Coffee.

Add alcohol and it is an affogato
Yum yum

 

[Tazzieman]

Wait?
I saw Ed on Thursday , playing to his biggest ever crowd (108,000)

 

[Tazzieman]

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.

 

[bigleonski]

Add alcohol and it is an affogato
Yum yum

That’s the point of an Irish coffee - it has Irish whisky in it.

 

[Arkaig]

 

[globalgregors]

View attachment 7805485

What’s she doing with that Walkman?

 

[Max]

What’s she doing with that Walkman?

View attachment 7805496

She probably thinks it will tell her the distance to the flag...she looks the part with a golf club in her hand...poor thing

 

[Max]

I wonder if she plays with white balls...Tiger's wife didn't

 

[Wayneos]

What’s she doing with that Walkman?

Who cares!!!

 

[Tazzieman]

She probably thinks it will tell her the distance to the flag...she looks the part with a golf club in her hand...poor thing

Modern golfists cheat as much as the old school ones did
Lasers! Whatever next? Drones to find the missing balls?

 

[Tazzieman]

It's a fine line between collecting and hoarding when you own a shed.
This be me!

 

[Tazzieman]

@DaveB s comment re kids not leaving home aged 18 triggered this song memory.
Bob is a legend!

View: https://youtu.be/MHUo9dyfgDk

View: https://youtu.be/zlB6Cq5kTzc

 

[DaveB]

@DaveB s comment re kids not leaving home aged 18 triggered this song memory.
Bob is a legend!

View: https://youtu.be/MHUo9dyfgDk

View: https://youtu.be/zlB6Cq5kTzc

Actually I drove my son to the army recruiting office when he was 17 and waived goodbye as the bus left He is now 34 and working his way up the different grades of Sargent.
He loves it.
My daughter left home for the second time in her life last Tuesday at the age of 33.

 

[Davman]

@DaveB - you already have the perfect answer. Don’t get them to leave the house, just sell the house.

 

[Tazzieman]

All this robot talk. Thought I'd have a go.

Q "what to do if parachute doesn't open?"

Ans: If you are skydiving and your parachute doesn't open, the first and most important thing to do is to remain calm. Panic will only make the situation worse and reduce your chances of survival.
Here are the steps to take if your parachute doesn't open:

1. Assess your altitude: Quickly check your altimeter to determine how much time you have before impact.
2. Try to deploy the reserve chute: If you have a reserve parachute, attempt to deploy it immediately. Pull the reserve handle firmly and quickly with both hands, as this will help to release the chute. Be aware that the reserve chute may also malfunction, and you should be prepared for this possibility.
3. Control your body position: Keep your body upright and your legs together to reduce your speed and increase your chances of survival. Spread your arms and legs out like a flying squirrel to try to slow your fall.
4. Look for a soft landing spot: Look for any available soft landing spot, such as a tree, a haystack, or a body of water. Aim for the spot and try to slow down your speed as much as possible.
5. Prepare for impact: As you approach the ground, brace yourself for impact by bending your knees, crossing your arms over your chest, and tucking in your chin.

 

[ECrider]

and tucking in your chin.

...and if you can reach your arse, kiss it goodbye!

 

[Tazzieman]

What should I do if I'm projected into the inonosphere


If you find yourself projected into the ionosphere, it is important to remain calm and take the following steps:

1. Seek immediate medical attention: Being projected into the ionosphere can expose you to high levels of radiation, which can have harmful effects on your body. Therefore, seek medical attention as soon as possible.
2. Contact emergency services: Let them know your situation and your location so they can send help.
3. Stay put: It's important to stay where you are and not try to move around too much. Moving around can cause you to lose control and can lead to further injury.
4. Wait for rescue: You should wait for rescue personnel to arrive and assist you.
5. Prepare for the worst: Depending on the altitude and velocity of your projection, the impact could be catastrophic. Be mentally prepared for the possibility of death or serious injury.

It's important to remember that being projected into the ionosphere is a highly unlikely event, but it's always good to be prepared for the unexpected.

 

[globalgregors]

Be mentally prepared for the possibility of death

Someone’s been reading their Heidegger…