This made me laugh out loud. But not in a way mocking you at all! It sounds like you have a shoddy car wash near you!! Let’s take them one by one.
I’m looking at a trial master, so it will have a raised intake. Snorkels have never been a problem. How hard do you think the material pushes in the car? Most places will be using a foam material that cannot absorb water, so the weight of the material spinning next to the car is minimal. There’s very little force. You can stand next to it and fell them with your hand as they gently spin. Add to this the lubricity of the chemicals and the material glides gently over the car. The equipment is set to a certain pressure. For example, it can be set to 10psi. The brush will press against the car at 10psi regardless of the size or shape of the car. So if you have a narrow car or a wide car, the pressure along the side or top etc, remains the same.
No need for a leap of faith. Proven things don’t require such a leap. I can send you a video when I have one.
Underwash. No wash I know of will clean your wheel wells after mudding. In fact, if you come to us with a muddy car, we’ll turn you away. Yes if it’s muddy you need to spray it all off. But a dirty car and a muddy car aren’t the same thing. The underwash should be on for the whole car. If it’s not, they need help
I’m a fan of high volume, low pressure under washes. High pressure ones that are too high, could in theory knock wire harnesses loose. There’s no need. Again, it’s not meant to de-mud a car. It’s meant to wash it.
Useless features. Get the bottom, basic wash, or get the top one. Too many operators pack four to five packages that while, yes they do actually do stuff, it’s more of a marketing idea to get you to spec up to the top one and justify the increase to the top wash. Just look at the prices of each and you’ll see what I mean. We eliminated everything except the bottom and the top. No need for confusion or long explanations. No need for the middle stuff. I can promise you that the % of people that get the middle washes is so small, that I cannot comprehend why operators do this.
Pulling into town and hitting it with a sprayer will not give you a clean car, just a rinsed one.
Okay, so I'll give you that the friction of the brushes isn't going to hurt my cart, and the chemicals in a friction wash are safer, and that nothing should be smashing into my vehicle, but what about scratching from other people's detritus. I'm soooooo scared of some rock just gouging my car.