Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[Max]

Sick humour but not as cutting as the last

 

[Tazzieman]

Grannyfest speedway

 

[DaveB]

 

[IG_in_AZ]

Sick humour but not as cutting as the last

Was he actually a break dancer?

 

[AngusMacG]

View attachment 7866582

Yes

 

[Tazzieman]

 

[Max]

 

[CRH]

View attachment 7866582

It's a yes from the wife

 

[Tazzieman]

I can recommend atheism.
I'm a big believer in non-prophet organisations.

 

[MidnightCamper]

View attachment 7866582

Do you even need to ask?

 

[MidnightCamper]

View attachment 7864796

I remember those days! Catholic Youth Organization dances. And an aspirin for birth control - held tightly between the knees.

 

[Tazzieman]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

 

[Max]

It is nice that your wife asked you a question...mine just stated the following...

 

[Logsplitter]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

I going to remember that one and add it to my repertoire. That might get used at a garden party in the village next weekend

 

[DenisM]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

"What are you doing?"
"Nothing...."
"That's what you said last time.. "
" So? .... I haven't finished yet !"

 

[Max]

"What are you doing?"
"Nothing...."
"That's what you said last time.. "
" So? .... I haven't finished yet !"

Doing "Nothing" can be seen to be lazy but I was born with a lazy eye and it took over the rest of my body

 

[Sillius Soddus]

View: https://youtube.com/shorts/fMovUHYDUW0?feature=shared

 

[Tazzieman]

 

[Tazzieman]

 

[DaveB]

View attachment 7867562

Of course you do Roxanne